Understanding
by Youkomon
Summary: He really can't understand it. He can't understand anything really. But he can understand Roll-chan perfectly fine. Gutsman vigilante


…Nobody ever writes about Gutsman. Never. And he is one of the most sweet-natured guys on the show. Maybe not necessarily 'deep' but he definitely deserves more respect than he gets.

Sooooooooo…let's take a look inside that kind-yet-rather-muddled-head-of-his shall we? (snigger)

* * *

He really can't understand it. He can't understand anything really.

He's strong. He knows he is. Just not strong enough. He's not particularly smart either but he makes do with what he has. But perhaps that's his greatest strength. He knows exactly what he has got. He's got a good home, loving friends and a kind net op who understands him better than many others ever will. And he pays great heed to that, he's grateful and maybe the others don't notice it as much as they would for a more important navi…but he'll never give it up. Never. He will always fight, always strive to protect the things he hold dear to him, everything he has that's worthy of being encompassed in his gentle heart.

Unfortunately he's only too aware of what he hasn't got either. Roll-chan. Roll-chan and her lovely smile that never mocks or teases, even if her antenna can deliver a nasty sting. But she's a girl and a pretty one at that, one of the few girls who doesn't laugh at his hunky design or make snide comments about his size or short concentration span. And because of that, he can forgive her anything. And he would do anything for her as well.

He remembers saving her when they set out to revive Rockman. Her face, once so full of gaiety now held nothing but terror as she stared at him almost in disbelief, as he bore the weight that should have crushed her body. Terror…._for him_. She was frightened for his safety then, not Rockman's, not Meiru's but_ his_. And in that moment, he had never been prouder to be her friend.

Friend. A good one. But it also stings when associated with Roll-chan. For that is all he will ever be to her. He can kid himself that maybe one day she will want only his heavy embrace to protect her, not the slender arms of Rockman…but he knows where her real sights are set. And because he's her friend he's happy for her. Yet…because she will always be more than a friend to him, he will also be sad. Beyond sad. But it is not in his nature to show such things.

Dekeo is often sad. He knows it, hears the sobs and pretends it is the rain pattering against the windows when they return from an outing, the catcall of a intolerant slim person blowing against their backs. He's seen the start and end of the failed dieting attempts and the way the woman known as 'mother' raised her voice and shook the house when she saw his grade card. And every time things like this happens…he balls up his fists and shakes. Dekeo is his friend, his best one and oh, it hurts and stabs to have to keep lying. Dekeo's problems are not ones he can personally delete…and it makes him angry that everyone is obvious to the true Dekeo just taking what they need and refusing to dig below the surface. For Dekeo is kind, more intelligent that most give him credit for, he just knows it. No proof of course…but one day the world will sit up and take notice. One day Dekeo and Gutsman will make a change, one that Netto and Rockman, even Enzan and Blues will never manage. Their time will come. They just don't know when.

Maybe then he'll win Roll-chan's heart…and he wouldn't have to see it break in front of him. It's all Rockman's fault. He likes Rockman he really does, Rockman is a friend, he must never forget that…but he rages and snorts when he sees his disregard for the wonderful Roll-chan. It sickens him the way he never tries as hard as he does to get Roll to spend time with his little blue side…he wins her affections without even trying. And he doesn't even seem to notice. He remembers how Roll came, eyes sparkling with fireworks and delight, recounting the tale of her first 'date' with Rockman. A 'date' that Rockman never remembers happening. God…he would do anything to get her to beam that same glorious smile his way for something his done, just the same ones she gives to Rockman free of charge.

How can he treat her like that? Doesn't he understand how wonderful it is to have a pretty, kind, thoughtful girl at your side? One who likes you? But then Rockman has no idea what it is like to be judged and hated on sight by a complete stranger. To be a slave to prejudice. Sure, he's saved the world…but has he even felt how bleak it is when it cracks in two at a single comment from someone you're never met?

He doesn't think so. And that is why Roll-chan is worth more than gold or diamonds, silver or fancy battle-chips, ranks or titles. Because she makes his burden of knowing a little lighter, makes the world a little kinder just by talking to him like a real person. He feels a little more solid by her side. She is unique and he would travel to the deepest retches of the Undernet for her.

And that is why he is both happy and sad when a certain navi in pink bundles herself up into his arms as she sobs and sobs her heart out. Because they both know love hurts and that Rockman is talking to Blues, Netto and even Medi in a way he will never disclose to her. And he tells her that she's beautiful and wonderful and smart and strong and kind and _everything_ really…and that Rockman's a fool if he can't see what's in front of him. He tells her all she needs to hear, never knowing if she will ever understand that he genuinely means every single word of it. And she will thank him even through her tears and he will blush…and pretend that just for tonight she is his.

And even he has to chuckle at the way fate has dealt them all the wrong cards and how everybody loves the wrong person. Nobody will get their happy ending. But fate hasn't reckoned on Gutsman's interference.

He's determined that no matter what it takes…he's going to make sure **_his _**Roll-chan is going to get her happy ending…even if he is written out of it altogether.


End file.
